Albeit a very small one.

Another update:<P>I've had 6 or 8 responses (one from an Artistic Director who called to say that, while he doesn't need a lighting designer, he knows someone who does) and 2 firm offers of shows.<P>So the project's paid for itself.<p>[This message has been edited by salzberg (edited October 30, 2001).]

(I had <I>another</I> Artistic Director call me to say he didn't need me, but knew someone else who might, so there are at least two nice ADs in the world. . .but that's not what I logged on to write about.)<P>One way I get the names of theatre and dance companies to write to is by reading the ads on <A HREF="http://www.backstagejobs.com" TARGET=_blank>www.backstagejobs.com</A> and <A HREF="http://www.playbill.com." TARGET=_blank>www.playbill.com.</A> Even if they're not advertising for a lighting designer, it gives me an idea of who's out there and whether they are at a level where they can afford to bring in someone from out of town. Of course, reading these ads involves a certain amount of decoding. Below are some quotes from a recent ad for a resident set designer, followed by what they <I>really</I> mean:<P>"Resident set designer needed for on-going season." -- Our previous designer bailed on us.<P>"A young ensemble theatre company (2 years old)" -- We're a bunch of actors just out of college, muddling around without a clue.<P>"seeks a young, eager, new, creative scenic designer" -- We're looking for someone who doesn't know any better.<P>"to perform all related design functions" -- You'll have <I>no</I> support staff.<P>"in association with directors, production managers, other designers" -- You'll answer to <I>everyone</I>.<P>"on all upcoming productions" -- Your next day off will be July Fourth. . .in the year 2003.<P>"We do 5 productions a year with varied budgets in top- notch spaces" -- I hope you enjoy crawling on your belly through 80-year-old bat dung.<P>"Perfect opportunity for a young designer seeking experience" -- Sucker!<p>[This message has been edited by salzberg (edited December 17, 2001).]

Er. . .in case anyone from the above company should read this. . .it was a <I>joke</I>.<P>Mostly.

LOL!

Salzberg:<P>You left out: "Great professional exposure" <P>- you aren't getting paid.

Wordfox, I've heard that one before. Bestowed upon me as if it were an honor.

I always like, "but you'll get to work on an exciting piece with really fun people!"<P>No, thanks, I work on plenty of exciting pieces (with really fun people) that I get paid for.

Maggie:<P>If you've heard the "great exposure" before, then you must have heard the line that always seems to follow closely behind it:<P>"Oh, by the way, what do you do for a real job"?<p>[This message has been edited by wordfox (edited December 18, 2001).]

..and I was told, 'if you were a real ballet teacher, you would have a Russian accent.'<P>This was said by a lady who played violin in the San Diego Symphony and taught violin.<P> So, I responded 'I think real violinists have Russian accents, too.'

Ouch.<P>My response for asking me to lend my services for free was always:<P>"I sew for a profession. I expect to get paid. Now if you want me to help you with your garden..."

I also like:

"...process-oriented company...."

-- We're really indecisive.