Oh well - at least the Turkish belly dancing will have enlivened the choreographic contributions:

On a sea of tat, no one would throw Britain a lifeline
By Rupert Smith for The Guardian

There can no longer be any possible doubt that Britain is the pariah of Europe. UK hopefuls Jemini emerged point-free from the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday - and although it was a bloody awful song, it was not alone in that respect.

Juries happily gave points to Austria (an apparent cretin with toy animals on stage), Ukraine (featuring a contortionist in a turquoise leotard), and even Poland (a man with bright red hair who looked like a hormonally challenged Lulu). On all these they lavished points, but to the UK, not a bean.

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Nul points - UK out of tune with Europe
Recriminations fly as song contest debacle prompts calls for BBC to change way entry is selected
By Matt Wells for The Guardian

As national humiliations go, it was hardly Dunkirk. But the UK's failure to secure a single point in this year's Eurovision Song Contest induced an unusually wide-ranging bout of hand-wringing by cultural commentators, musicians and even a cabinet minister.
The dismally tuneless performance of Cry Baby by the Liverpool duo Jemini was blamed variously on technical problems, the poor quality of the song and even Britain's stance on the war with Iraq. The arch disdain traditionally accorded to the contest merely served to heighten the sense of embarrassment about the country's worst result since the competition began in 1956.

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<small>[ 16 May 2004, 05:10 AM: Message edited by: Stuart Sweeney ]</small>

I'd love to have seen this contest, if it was as funny as Rupert Smith's article makes it out to be. I'm curious about the woman from Iceland who was "draped in what looked like luncheon meat."

I missed the contest as I was watching ballet. However, you too can share in all the fun and excitement - here is the link to the radio braodcast of Eurovision 2003. For those who, understandably, see three hours of weak pop you've never heard before as some sort of Hell, there is a 5 minute jump button available:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio2_aod.shtml?eurovision03

Tatu's UK no.1 hit was one of the best of 2003, but even their Eurovision song was weak. "One more Night" from the Netherlands and the Belgiabn entry were OK. The UK song comes after 1h. 4min. The technical problems or whatever mean that it probably was the worst performance all night, but I couldn't face the whole show even with jumps.

Pre-recorded videos of all the songs plus placings are available here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/eurovision/contestants/

Later: Alf Poier from Austria earns a place as the wierdest performance and it's great that he came as high as 6th. From the songs I have heard I think Estonia's "The 80s coming back" (placed 21st) was one of the strongest.

<small>[ 26 May 2003, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: Stuart Sweeney ]</small>

A series of letters on the theme from The Guardian. I love the phrase, "They were lucky to get nil."

Still making a song and dance about Eurovision
Letters page from The Guardian

I won't hear a word said against the Eurovision song contest (Euro derision greets UK's nul point flops, May 26). What with exploring cultural diversity; explaining the political tactical voting inspired by our pro-American stance and other emerging relationships within the European community; discussing how and when Israel became European; debating the winning country's human rights issues; analysing the different media responses to the results and evaluating our status as pariah of Europe, my citizenship lessons are wonderfully organised for the next few weeks.
Thanks Tony - or should I say Congratulations.
DJ Wolinski

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I'm eagerly awaiting the Naftavision contest that one person suggested.

Not sure it would be much different....

OK, who watched this in 2004? To encourage honesty, let me say that community service rather than a custodial sentence is more likely....for first-time offenders:

Dodgy dancing, flags, glitz and Woganphobia
Istanbul prepares to host the Eurovision Song Contest after last year's Turkish triumph. By Suna Erdem for The Sunday Times


CAMERAS WHIR and flashbulbs flash as Sertab Erener enters the room. Last year’s Eurovision Song Contest winner for Turkey is inundated with requests for autographs and pictures. “You are a very special person,” coos a large, excitable man.
That she is. Until Erener’s triumph, Turkey had endured years of failure. In the weeks beforehand a nation’s hopes would rise, only to be crushed on the night, sometimes with humiliating force.

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Ukraine wins first Eurovision crown with 'Wild Dance' song
From MediaCorp News


ISTANBUL : Ukraine won its first Eurovision Song Contest title here on Saturday as its star singer Ruslana wowed millions across the continent with an explosive song complete with a dazzling floorshow.

Dressed in leather costumes reminiscent of the "Lord of the Rings" and wielding whips, the charismatic brunette and her dancers performed their number "Wild Dance," a mix of rock and folk music, with a stomping dance inspired by ethnic traditions in the Carpathian mountains.

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Send in the clowns
Fading flowers do not win Eurovision. You need a song with a message and a gimmick — removable clothing works best. By Jonathan Harvey for The Times.


As a child, I would get so excited about the Eurovision Song Contest that on the day of the final I could talk about nothing else. I would be unable to sleep, eat, and would walk round in an “Oh, my God, it’s going to be on in 15 hours” daze. It was a rude awakening to discover that my obsession was completely out of kilter with what most other eight-year-olds were into.

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