In the "Lighting Trends. . . ." thread, Bee Bee said:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Think about this, “Light draws the eye. Movement draws the eye. Light and movement create a compelling visual feast. It is well worth your while to think of light as part of your choreography."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Bee Bee, I don't know if you made this up yourself or were quoting someone else, but it started me thinking about other lighting-related quotes. My two favorites are:<P>"Dancers live in light the way that fish live in water." -- Jean Rosenthal<P> and<P>"The art of lighting the stage consists of putting light where you want it and taking it away from where you don't want it." -- Max Reinhardt<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<BR>Jeffrey E. Salzberg, Lighting Designer<BR>Online portfolio, now including "This Day in Arts History":<BR><A HREF="http://www.suncoast.quik.com/salzberg" TARGET=_blank>http://www.suncoast.quik.com/salzberg</A> <P><BR>

Then there's this one, which -- when I was sentenced to teaching college -- was always an extra credit question on the final:<P>Q: How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?<P>A: It doesn't matter; they won't be in their light anyway.<BR>

It is a phrase I used a lot when I speak to the dancer about Lighting on stage. I always believe it is important for the Dancers to feel the light as they dance in it. <P>I like to tell dancers - "Dance with the light and feel the light, treat them as your partner"<P>It probably will take only 1 dancer to change the bulb but whoever is reflecting that light could be the same dancer that changed the bulb. <P>------------------<BR>Bee Bee Lee<BR>beebee@shippandcompany.org <A HREF="http://www.shippandcompany.org/beebee" TARGET=_blank>http://www.shippandcompany.org/beebee</A> <P><p>[This message has been edited by Bee Bee (edited August 18, 2000).]

Salzberg said:<P>Q: How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?<P>A: It doesn't matter; they won't be in their light anyway.<BR></hr><P>Are you trying to say that the dancer is not capable of changing a light bulb? I felt you are insulting their abilities, unless you are trying to demote your own design. I hope your answer to your question is a joke. <P>[This message has been edited by Kronos (edited August 18, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Kronos (edited August 18, 2000).]

Sadly, Kronos, it seems dancer jokes are the blonde jokes of theater. Frankly, I don't get it, being as utterly brilliant and totally humorless as I am...

Nah, Priscilla, singer jokes are the blonde jokes of the theatre, just as viola jokes serve the same function in the orchestra (there are several web sites devoted to viola jokes).<P>In any case, I think it was pretty obvious that it was meant as a joke.<BR><P>------------------<BR>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<BR>Jeffrey E. Salzberg, Lighting Designer<BR>Online portfolio, now including "This Day in Arts History":<BR><A HREF="http://www.suncoast.quik.com/salzberg" TARGET=_blank>http://www.suncoast.quik.com/salzberg</A> <P><BR>

Well, I'd love to hear some of those singer jokes. Could you post one or two here, even though they're off the subject?

Well, the singer jokes tend to be about females, which makes them -- like the "blonde" jokes -- a little sexist. . .but nonetheless, here's one:<P>Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?<P>A: 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to whine, "It's too high. . . ."<P><BR>and. . . .<P>Q: Why does a soprano stay on your porch for hours?<P>A: She doesn't have the key and doesn't know when to come in.<P><BR>Then there's. . . .<P>Q: How can you tell which kid on the playground belongs to the trombone player?<P>A: He can't swing and he doesn't know how to use the slide.<P><BR>Well, you asked for it.<BR>

I forgot this one:<P>Q: How many Executive Directors does it take to change a light bulb?<P>A: "Can't we use one of the bulbs we already have?"<BR>

One of my personal favorites to use when someone in the wings is standing in front of a boom while watching:<P>Uhm, do you notice a burning sensation on the back of your legs? <P>

That burning sensation is exactly what I need after pulling a muscle in my back and right leg!

About those viola jokes:<P>Q. Why shouldn't you push a car with 3 viola players in it over a cliff?<P>A. There's room for at least 1 more.<P>**********************************<P>Man to a stranger next to him on a plane, 'I just heard a great new viola joke.'<BR>'I'll have you know that I am a viola player.'<BR>'No problem - I'll tell it slowly.' <P>**********************************<P>Q. Why did it take so long for a viola to burn?<P>A. It was still in its case, as usual.<P>**********************************<P>Q. What was the demand of the hijackers of a Jumbo jet filled with viola players on their way to a convention?<P>A. $1,000,000 or one by one....they'd start releasing them. <P>***********************************<P>An old Jewish man living in Chicago found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it a genie appeared who said, 'Listen, I'm not as powerful as I used to be, so you only get one wish and don't make it too difficult.'<P>After some thought, the man says to the genie, 'There's this terrible problem we have in the Middle East - the Arabs, the Israelis, problems with land. Here look at these maps...' and so on. After 30 minutes the genie says, 'Listen, listen I already said that my powers are much reduced. This is clearly a very difficult problem. Please make another wish.<P>The man sighs and says, 'OK! Can you make the viola section of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra play in tune?' The Genie thinks for a moment and says, 'Could I see those maps again?<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Stuart Sweeney (edited August 23, 2000).]

Salzberg... I wonder which instrument Francis plays...

I saw a T-shirt once..."If all the world's a stage, then I want better lighting."

<P><BR>If my examples above were not enough to put you off the genre for life, then here is a link to one of the hundreds of viola joke websites (I kid you not - search on viola jokes and see what happens). <P>Viola players are used to all this stuff. Today they perform to the same standards as other instrumentalists, but there was a time when this instrument, which has few solo parts, only attracted less gifted performers. <P>The site below has a mere 100 or so viola jokes. Not all of them are vicious...oh alright, yes they are:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.mit.edu:8001/people/jcb/viola-jokes.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.mit.edu:8001/people/jcb/viola-jokes.html</A> <P><p>[This message has been edited by Stuart Sweeney (edited August 24, 2000).]