Lighting Designers' Bill of Rights

Tom Skelton · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 5:52 am

In Dance Issues, there's a discussion of a proposed (ah, if only it were so) Dancers' Bill of Rights, which got me thinking....

Here's what should be the lighting designers' BOR:

1. Dancers shall make every reasonable effort to get into (and stay in) their light.*

2. Dancers shall not stand in front of shinbusters while waiting to enter.

3. Choreographers shall not use the lighting rehearsal to completely re-choreograph a dance. **

4. Dancers who are on break shall not sit/stand near the lighting designer and hold loud, raucous conversations while s/he is trying to work.

5. Dancers and choreographers shall not steal the lighting designer's Diet Coke®.

* Q: How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It doesn't matter; they won't be in their light anyway.

** Q: How many choreographers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 5-6-7-8!

Stuart Sweeney · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:29 am

6. A lighting designer shall be entitled to substantial financial compensation and the opportunity to attend a post-trauma stress syndrome clinic at the company's expense, if, at any time, anyone connected with the production, refers to the aforementioned designer as a "techie".

7. All reviews which mention the lighting, MUST refer to the lighting designer by name. Penalty for non-adherence to this clause will be [censored for a family audience].

8. Any theatrical lighting job in the USA must be offered to Tom Skelton before any approaches are made to other designers.

Stuart Sweeney · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:32 am

Haven't heard about a shinbuster? Is it a low-mounted light?

salzberg · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:41 am

Stuart Sweeney wrote:

6. A lighting designer shall be entitled to substantial financial compensation and the opportunity to attend a post-trauma stress syndrome clinic at the company's expense, if, at any time, anyone connected with the production, refers to the aforementioned designer as a "techie".

Add:

"In all such cases, the Company shall post the Designer's bail."

salzberg · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:43 am

Stuart Sweeney wrote:

Haven't heard about a shinbuster? Is it a low-mounted light?

Exactly. It's a light mounted in the wings on or near the floor. Contrary to some dancers' perceptions, its primary purpose is not to warm the backs of the dancers' legs while they're waiting to enter.

Stuart Sweeney · **Posted:** Thu Nov 17, 2005 9:44 pm

Quote:

Contrary to some dancers' perceptions, its primary purpose is not to warm the backs of the dancers' legs while they're waiting to enter.

Hey! Be fair - how were they supposed to know that these lights were in some way involved with illuminating the stage?

Amy Reusch · **Posted:** Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:09 pm

Which came first: "shinbuster" or "kicker"?!

salzberg · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2006 12:22 pm

Stuart Sweeney wrote:

6. A lighting designer shall be entitled to substantial financial compensation and the opportunity to attend a post-trauma stress syndrome clinic at the company's expense, if, at any time, anyone connected with the production, refers to the aforementioned designer as a "techie".

When i'm working with actors and one of them uses that word, I tell them that if they'll refrain from calling me a "techie", I'll refrain from calling them "acties".

When I'm lighting dance, of course, I offer to refrain from calling them "dancies".

Earlier this month I lit a puppet show, and I was actually hoping some puppeteer would call me a techie....


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