Maurice Hines, onetime tap dance kid, longtime choreographer and elder brother of the late, great Gregory, was adamant about riding a showbiz wave on the Potomac. He'd been told to try out his musical in Chicago, but he'd developed a following in Washington and wanted to indulge his soft spot for the city -- wanted the security of nursing his project in a town with which he felt a bond.

If members of a high school drama club were asked to develop a show based on the songs of the '70s sensation Earth, Wind & Fire, they easily might come up with something subtler than the ghastly tangle of cliches that have been crazy-glued together for "Hot Feet," the Broadway-bound mishmash that opened Tuesday night at the National Theatre.

A hip-hop-inflected retelling of "The Red Shoes," "Hot Feet" dances the night away merrily oblivious to the fact that ultimately, the foot bone is connected to the brain bone. As conceived, directed and choreographed by Maurice Hines, this $8 million curiosity cuts a clueless-verging-on-vulgar swath through the terrain of that Broadway staple, the backstage musical. It banks on the notion that you'll believe perspiration can be a substitute for inspiration.

Think "Dancing With the Stars" meets "American Idol." Add in Earth, Wind & Fire hits such as "After the Love Has Gone," "Shining Star" and "September," plus a 20-minute hip-hop ballet. The result? The new, Broadway-bound "Hot Feet," about an ambitious ingenue, Kalimba (Vivian Nixon), who dreams of becoming the next dance superstar.