Forgot, add Monica Mason as well.

"Aurora Tells Florimund To Come Back Tomorrow; Disappointed Prince Weds Carabosse".

8 out of 10 boys say they want to dance ballet professionally, compared with only three out of ten girls.

"Ballet company has too many production staffers, not enough front-office help"

For convoluted English (even by my standards) this takes some beating:

SLAP DANCE TRUFFLE CLUB BOSS DAWN LOVE IS BEATEN UP AT SEX FESTIVAL EXCLUSIVE
By Brendan Mcginty for The Sunday Mail

A GLAMOROUS lapdancing boss was attacked after a row with a customer at a sex festival.

Dawn Love -``house mother'' at Glasgow's Truffle Club -was beaten to the ground and kicked and punched in the face by the woman.

The 36-year-old former topless dancer had been helping to run a stall at the Festival Erotique, which was held last weekend in the Corn Exchange, Edinburgh.

click for more

A great headline and story (non-dance).

Lord Lucan? Er, no. It's Barry the banjo player from St Helens

Friends of dead folk singer astonished at claims in new book

Steven Morris and Angelique Chrisafis
Tuesday September 9, 2003
The Guardian

The former Scotland Yard detective - and presumably the Sunday broadsheet which carried his claims - believed one of the great mysteries of modern times had been cracked. Duncan MacLaughlin had located Lord Lucan, the dapper, well-groomed Old Etonian who lunched only on lamb cutlets and regarded the lower classes with contempt.

In fact, it now appears, Mr MacLaughlin had traced not the fugitive aristocrat but a former heavy drinking folk singer called Barry Halpin, a well-known character in the pubs and clubs of north-west of England in the 1960s who always addressed friends as "old cock".

click for more

<small>[ 09 September 2003, 03:49 AM: Message edited by: Stuart Sweeney ]</small>

A candidate for our ongoing Headline Competition, this amusing restaurant review may be of use to those visiting the Mariinsky Theatre, but it's non-dance really:

sushi, triumph of globalization
By Vanessa Bittner for The Moscow Times

Gone is the haymarket of Dostoevsky and its perestroika incarnation as a bustling bazaar for contraband wares, cheap food and cigarettes. By comparison, the Sennaya shopping mall on Ulitsa Yefimova - a side street with McDonald's on the corner - seems an alien implantation in the heart of old St. Petersburg. But the modern three-story structure with its glassed-in shops of major brand-name retailers is a natural setting for Wasabi-Ko, the sushi bar tucked away in a corner on the second floor.

click for more

An incredible day for great headlines:

BALLET CHAOS AT CAR PARK
From This is Derbyshire


A new parking system at Derby's Assembly Rooms caused chaos for theatre-goers who were forced to queue for up to an hour before they could use a pay machine.

Theatre-goers are concerned that the problem on Wednesday night will cause problems at future shows.

click for more

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Could come in handy for dealing with some of the ballet critics:

New York Ballet Dancers Take Shooting Practice
From KLTV.com


Renowned members of the New York Ballet spent time in Longview firing shots on a shooting range. They personify grace and elegance combined with athletic ability. Members of the New York City Ballet are in Longview to perform and soak up some local culture.

"Performing and being able to come to the gun range is one of the highlights of this trip," says dancer Brian Skolnik.

click for more

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Mayor, dressed as bull, takes up ballet
By Ray Barrington for The News-Chronicle (Green Bay)

While politicians have been known to dance around issues, one will be dancing on stage with his daughters Friday and Saturday at the Meyer Theatre.

Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt and his daughters Anna and Laura will be part of the ballet "Cowtown" being presented by the Northeast Wisconsin Dance Association. The three will be dancing to music by Patsy Cline.

click for more

>From the "Soviet Weekly" (translated to the English with far greater veracity than was probably intended):
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

Ho ho! Trust the Fox to pick up on that one!

Welcome back, Word!