Kim - thanks for talking to me, to us.<P>I hear you. I also see the scenario, and it's a bit like our everyday stuff. He is dearly loved by both of us, but we are only human, and patience runs thin, especially as ADD types tend to KEEP ON doing the same irksome things, however many times you may have told them or taught them. <BR>The thing like they never give up once an idea has gelled in their head, whatever it is, and they will nag and nag until they drive you nuts. Then they wonder why you shout at them.<BR>I know it's not his fault, and I try and be patient, but it is hard. I also realise it's even harder for him. He started middle school this year, and the first few months were pretty bad. Tears and a drop in self-esteem (which is never high at the best of times), prompting dramatic excalamations on his part and deep anguish on mine.<BR>I talked to the teachers, but the almost total lack of media attention or information on any level here doesn't help. I don't take him to a psychologist partly because of this, and partly because daddy is very anti-Headshrinkers, as well as anti-Ritalin.<P>I try and structure his afternoon, but it's a battle to get homework done almost every day, and leaves me a nervous wreck sometimes. It is very frustrating because he is a clever child, but can't seem to use his intellect as well as he might, and is really messy as well, both in school work and around the house.<P>The thing that gets me is when he has been being really difficult and defiant about homework or something, and has really wound me up, then he comes along and wants a huge hug and cuddles, as if nothing has happened, and frankly I don't feel affectionate at those times, as I need to cool off. I know I should, but like I said, I'm only human.<P>He is totally obsessed with electronic games too, but like everything else, he overdoes it, and would just sit at the Playstation all day if I let him. Same with Pokemon. <BR>The number of drawings he has ever done up till now is so small that every single one is a treasured artefact. I don't want Michelangelo, but it would be nice if he had used a pencil a bit more as a small child. Even now he never takes a piece of paper up unless it's for school. Maybe it's me: I am a bit of an artist, so perhaps he feels a bit intimidated. I don't know. One grasps at straws to try and explain things to oneself.<P>I was so full of enthusiasm about having a child. I was convinced into going for it by our ballet pianist: she said I was great with the kids and ought to have one as I'd be perfect etc. And now it's so frustrating because all I seem to do is spend 80% of the time battling with him
<P>Sorry to go on like this, but we just had another little episode: he has managed to lose his removable orthodontic thingy, and daddy has just been out to get the rubbish bags in after throwing them out, and having sifted through assorted gunge from the day (three bags worth) we didn't find it. That means having another one made ($£). Daddy is NOT pleased...<P>I have to say he is improving in some ways, but we have yet to affront adolescence, and he is already showing signs of defiance and answering back etc etc. <BR>It's like walking a tightrope: you can't be too heavy-handed with an ADD individual as they are hyper-sensitive and easily offended, yet they also need to be kept in line quite firmly, or they walk all over you. Well, that's my experience anyway.<P>Better stop here or I'm liable to go on all night.