CriticalDance Forum

Martha - she of the incomparable home/garden/marriage/wardrobe/pantry/******* and other assorted items - and me:<P><BR>Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.<P>My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.<P>***** Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to squeeze out your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.<P>My way: Buy the pre cooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.   The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.<P>***** Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.<P>My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.<P>***** Martha's way #4: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.<P>My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?<P>***** Martha's way #5: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the ******* counter before squeezing.<P>My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs.<P>***** Martha's way #6: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.<P>My way: Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking.<P>***** Martha's way #7: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.<P>My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.<P>***** Martha's way #8: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.<P>My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. <P><BR>More later.........<P><BR>

LOL! I thought you meant "the Martha," as in Martha Graham!!!

Now, really Marie....can you imagine Martha Graham putting a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of her ice cream cone?<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Basheva (edited July 09, 2001).]

How funny! My friends and I like to make fun of Martha, but then, alas! my good friend has become something of a Martha devotee, and she is eager now to "learn something new everyday". We are dubious, and then she brings us these luscious chocolate cookies with real peanut butter in the center (like a chocolate peanut butter cup). Yum! And then she says she learned it from Martha. Agh! We don't want to admit it, but maybe Martha isn't so very obnoxious after all....

lol Basheva! I like both Martha's. Both Martha's demonstrate dedication, determination and attention to detail.

Ignore the mess. Martha Stewart doesn't live here.<BR>kim

I have that recipe, Katheryn - and a yummy one it is too. <P>But - would Martha eat that particular confection with her fingers?

You're right. She'd have it on a china plate with flowers and candles around her on the table, and she'd cut it up into delectable little pieces with the appropriate dessert silverware. Alas, that we could not do the cookies such justice, as we were in a tiny beach cabin on the Oregon Coast with no dessert silverware in sight. But when you can look out at the ocean and engage in delightful fun with your favorite girl friends, who cares about sticky fingers?

also, she would grow the flowers, make the candles, the table cloth, and find the china in an antique shop, AND be able to eat the cookies by the end of the show. boy, i wish i had that kind of time!!

.....and arrange for sunset on the beach in that tiny cabin (with maid service) whilst eating those delectable little confections.<P>I bet her flowers don't droop either when she forgets to water them....oh wait!! she never forgets to water them.

AND she'll even TEACH you how to water those droopy flowers. - It's a good thing!! <BR>kim

on eating watermelon:<P>Martha's Way: remove every seed from the watermelon, carve out in bite size balls, and place in paper lace serving cups, topped with toothpicks with little flags of all the United Nations.<P>My Way: Throw the watermelon against the wall, and dive for the largest surviving hunk, (being careful to trip the nearest competitor), test the air worthiness of the seeds .....>>><P>Mop up face with hem of dress....that's what dresses are for.

Why did I have a feeling SOMEBODY was going to post Martha Stewart jokes.....Can SOMEBODY explain why people(women) goof on her???

I think that I like to tease a little, because she does so much crazy stuff. Of course, it is all (well, mostly) completely beautiful and neat and amazing and inventive, but for someone like me, much of it is ridiculous. Even my friend, the Martha devotee, admits that much of it isn't practical... so then we have a fun dichotomy between Martha's world and my (less-than-elegant) world. And although I'm not going to try to define the whole concept of humor right now, this dichotmous situation is moderately amusing, especially since the "my way" comments seem very close to the truth. --okay, that's the best I could do, having just woken up to the doorbell out of a pleasant sleeping place.

LOL-well at least shes not only a domestic but a RICH one....that makes me feel good about her. But I TOO admit-if I could make ONE of those meals(with my own home grown ingredients of course) I'd be happy!