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 Post subject: Bad Headlines
PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 11:01 pm
Posts: 11
Jenny Gilbert's review in The Independent of Sylvie Guillem's performance was under the headline: A Maliphant that you'll never forget.

Dreadful! Can anyone come up with a better/worse headline?


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Headlines
PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 5:07 pm 
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Location: The Bronx is up; the Battery's down
Texas Monthly once disapproved of a staff change at Houston Ballet and said so under the headline "Faux Pas de Deux".

<small>[ 08 October 2004, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: salzberg ]</small>

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Headlines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:51 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 12:01 am
Posts: 77
Location: Gangsterdam
How about this one:

Quote:

Ooh-La-La and Oh-La-La at the Opera
(from Kylian and Lock)
When I first read this, I had no idea what he was talking about, with an Ooh-La-La on the one side and an Oh-La-La on the other. Fortunately he was kind enough to explain it:

Quote:


And when Muriel Zusperreguy turned up, just slightly beyond our grasp, what was naked about her, particularly a slim, small, tight white back and delicate breasts and belly softly lit by Kylian, left me breathless, to give you the PG-rated response. There was simple lovely expression in her skin.

[This type of review sounds just like a 20th century version of all those reviews by Theophile Gautier you've no doubt read, about Fanny Elssler being the "pagan dancer" and Taglioni being the "Christian dancer" etc. Mr Ben-Itzak continues this male Theophile Gautier tradition with the 20th century "nice tits" dancer! Superb!]

....Zusperreguy and Kylian provided the ooh-la-la of this mixed program. I don't think I have to translate that term. But the French also have its opposite, "Oh-la-la," which might translate as "catastrophe" or "merde to the nth power." Edouard Lock normally directs the Canadian troupe La La La Human Steps, but unfortunately was let out long enough to wreak havoc on the bodies of the Paris Opera Ballet, after seeing which charade, I've petitioned Ottawa to rename his troupe "Oh-la-la Super-human Steps."
Oh well... I suppose Mr. Paul Ben-Itzak can't really enjoy the "simple lovely expression in (the) skin" of the L3HS ballerinas' "delicate breasts" (in plain view for all to see, since Lock has a lace fetish re: his ballerinas' leotards) when there's a sixpack of ripped muscles pumping at ya right underneath those cute little breasts! Ha!

Tex.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Headlines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 1:53 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2000 11:01 pm
Posts: 269
Gross.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Headlines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 1999 11:01 pm
Posts: 1057
Location: SF CA
I do remember one that I saw in NY. Not sure if it was the Post or the Times but it read

"They said he was talented........He's not"

It was a review of Donny Osmond in some Broadway show that closed the same day.


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