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 Post subject: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2001 8:51 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2001 11:01 pm
Posts: 8612
Location: El Granada, CA, USA
How do you tell someone you know well that their performance was terrible without lying or hurting their feelings?<P>I tend to say something positive anyway. For instance: <BR>"Did you like the performance?" <BR>"Well, the costumes were so colorful!"<P>Anyone else?<P>


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2001 9:11 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 12, 1999 12:01 am
Posts: 3663
Location: The Bronx is up; the Battery's down
"Well, you did it!"<P>"Of all the shows I've ever seen. . . ."<P>"All I can say is, 'Wow!'"

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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2001 9:55 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 22, 1999 11:01 pm
Posts: 17498
Location: SF Bay Area
But if they know you well, they know what you mean no matter what you say. More than once, my silence has been interpreted backstage as, "Azlan didn't like it."


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2001 10:07 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2000 11:01 pm
Posts: 4753
Location: Montreal, QC, Canada
I think you could say, if you really care about the person that is, "It was really nice to see you perform." There is nothing worse than a false compliment. Someone once told me, "Your hair looks really great on stage." Ok, the piece I was in required the dancers to run their fingers through their hair at one point, but I thought that was such a vapid thing to say and whenever I saw that person after I would think about how shallow they were. Not that I hold on to things for a long time or hold grudges, lol! I think the details you go into when someone asks you about a performance really depends on your relationship with them. If it's a person you can tell when you think their outfit is really horrible or that they need to brush their teeth, and know that they will speak to you again, it's ok to be completely honest. But be nice about if for goodness sake. And ask them first, "Do you want to know what I really thought?" <P><p>[This message has been edited by Marie (edited September 21, 2001).]


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2001 8:25 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2001 12:01 am
Posts: 442
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
The only people that I really know very well that I would see perform would understand if I told them it wasn't that great. NOne of my friends have ever had a terrible performance, though. But usually they ask what I though about it, I'll tell them what was good (something always is, even if it's just good timing), but I'll tell them what I didn't like in a truthful way. I'll say " I couldn't feel what you were doing in your face", or "you looked kind of sloppy on that part of the movement". I'm not mean to them, but In general, I'm a blatantly truthful person. And my friends know that. They have been performing just as much or more than me, and they are used to criticism. They should understand that you are telling them becuase you care, and you want them to be able to improve. It's to the people that I don't care about or know that I say " the costumes were nice". Image ANd I think that if the perofrmance was terrible, then they would know, even if they wouldn't say it out loud! Image


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2001 9:59 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2001 11:01 pm
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Location: El Granada, CA, USA
Excellent attitude bebouce. I try to do the same thing, though sometimes that is REALLY hard.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2001 10:20 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 12, 1999 12:01 am
Posts: 3663
Location: The Bronx is up; the Battery's down
This thread has reminded me of the main reason I rarely attend performances in which friends' work is featured (of course, then there are the reasons I rarely attend performances given by complete strangers. . . .).<P>It's also reminded me of that classic scene in <I>The Goodbye Girl</I>. Richard Dreyfuss plays an actor who is making his NY debut -- in a production of <I>Richard III</I> whose director forces him to play the title role with an effeminate lisp ("Now ith the winter of our dithcontent, made gloriouth thummer by thith thon of York. . . ."). In the dressing room hallyway, after the opening performanthe. . .er. . .performance. . .we see the director browbeating a little old lady, demanding, "Did you like it? Did you like it?" Finally, she says, "It was very. . .interesting," and the director turns to the cast and says, "She LOVED it! Did you hear that? My mother LOVED it!"

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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2001 1:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 11:01 pm
Posts: 13071
Location: San Diego, California, USA
Then there is the friend/neighbor/relative who drags me to see her daughter/son as a mouse in the local Nutcracker and wants my 'professional' opinion on the star studded future of the child .....<P>I quickly made a rule ....I NEVER go to local Nutcrackers.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving Bad News
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2001 11:34 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2001 11:01 pm
Posts: 8612
Location: El Granada, CA, USA
I try never to see ANY Nutcracker.


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