CriticalDance Forum

Is it too late for me?
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Author:  foundmylove2005 [ Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:24 am ]
Post subject:  Is it too late for me?

I am 26 years old. I have a full time career and three children. I was born to my mother who was only 15 at the time and needless to say I have a sad story. It would do nothing for me to sit here and spill it all out to a bunch of strangers on a computer screen. I know that my past is what has brought me to today what has made me who I am today. I have always been a fighter. When things get tough that is when I push even harder. I have moved more times in my child hood than most people would there entire life. Moving so much and never having one person to trust had left me lost. I adapted to my ever changing life, and I am not sure sometimes if I will ever find myself. This is really hard for me..... I really don't know how to put everything I feel into words. My oldest son is seven and about five years ago I met a man that I now call my husband. I think about 6 months ago I finally realized that I trusted him. This was a big deal for me because it was brought with it a new understanding of love I had never felt before. I have lived in the same spot now for five years. In some ways I feel secure and content with this being what I want. In others I feel trapped inside this person that I have adapted to be. I have sat still long enough to realize I have no idea who I am. I wonder if these are feeling everyone has. If so how do I go about finding what makes me happy. If you ask my husband he says I am a good wife, ask my children and they say I am a good mother, ask my job and they will tell you I am a good employee, ask my clients they will tell you I am a good advisor, ask my sisters and they will tell you I am a good sister, ask my neighbors they will tell you I am a good neighbor. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? A couple months ago I found out that I am a driver. I like to be in control. I like the bottom line. I make hasty decitions. It all sounds like me when I decide on something I do it right then no waiting around to see if it is the right decition. I just do it and when I do I give it my all because I can not afford to fail. Ask anyone and they will tell you I am the strongest person they know. I wonder sometimes if I am only this way because this is the person I had to be to handle this road alone.

Secretly I love to sing. I love to write. I love to dance. I love to learn because if I am not I feel like I am sitting still. Like I am not accomplishing anything. I am a very sensitive person. I cry at hallmark commercials. I am full of passion. Passion for my children, my work, for people. My mind is constantly going a million miles an hour even I can't keep up. I dont know exactly what I am going to do for the rest of my life but I know what ever it is I want it to be great. I want to help as many people as I can to love as many people as I can. When I see someone angry I can feel there fear when I see someone sad I can feel their pain when I see someone happy I laugh with them and when I see ballet I feel this explosion of everything all at once screaming through my pores I just can't explain it. I want it so bad to have that feeling to be surrounded by people that feel the same way. One more explaination of who I am. So am I crazy? I mean I have read pages upon pages of writings among you all of the sacrifises and hardships. But the beauty just makes it worth it. I am not scared of the fight that I know how to do. Not very many people understand me including myself. I know I am not eight years old and not in shape or have a lot of money to spend on classes but if it is possible if I can work everyday for the rest of my life to have that complete connection with myself and to touch someone the way I have been touched then I am ready. Please I would like everyone advise. How do I begin? Or is it to late for me?

Author:  Alex R [ Sun Oct 23, 2005 9:40 am ]
Post subject: 

That's a very touching and moving story, and the answer is no, it's never too late. It depends how you want you want to achieve though, the chances of becoming a professional dancer for you are now slim, but that's not to say you can't still learn and become a competent dancer, perhaps dancing just for fun, or maybe even becoming a dance teacher. Age isn't too important, there is/was a company called Nederlands Dance Theatre 3 which was designed specifically for dancers over the age of 40.

There are many ways in which you can dance, a paid professional is just one.

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